There was something that I thought of yesterday when speaking to the ex boyfriend. There was a homeless man who approached us wanting a blanket that day. He was handed a pink blanket by one of the men who was out with me. I said "hold up, this is a man, he doesn't get a pink blanket' He looked at me while readjusting his posture and said "Yes, she is right, I am a man" For that one moment "he was a man...again" I can't imagine how it would feel for a man to have to ask people for help, for money, for food. It breaks my heart.
Last week I was at the gym and Lord help me if I run into this guy but, back to the story -
I was in the family locker room again at the gym putting away my winter clothes and there is this woman reprimanding her husband LOUDLY with her children there and a locker room full of families. She was talking to him as if he was a child. My blood was boiling - I was just looking at her with my mouth open....having some inner monologue ..."Wow, what a BITCH .....then, thought, do I approach her and tell her to stop treating her husband like a child that not only is she embarrassing herself but him (?) Then, wow cant wait til he cheats on her, leaves her or slams her into a locker" OH GEEZ did I just say that out loud? No no ..still just in my head whew! I mean what lesson is she teaching her children here? UGH!!!!
I am sure she was thinking that I was so impressed by how she was treating him. She had to, as she was just getting louder and louder as he cowered and just agreed with everything she was saying. So, I then thought do I yell at him "SALLY SERIOUSLY PULL DOWN YOUR SKIRT YOUR GIRLIE PARTS ARE SHOWING" No that wouldn't help, I would then be acting like his wife.
Women, we cannot do this to the men in our lives. No matter what, YES.. I said no matter what. Its like the homeless man - how emasculated must he feel? When did we want to become the men in our relationships? I never want that. I want my man to know his place and this as the man! If I have something to say to my man, no matter how much he wronged me - it will be done at home, in the car, via email, text message but, not in front of people. This is why, they stray. This is why, they stop wanting you. This is why, you no longer receive flowers. You need to treat, validate and respect your man for who he is and what he does.
You have no idea what spark plugs are and he just changed them in his car and is all excited to tell you about it - your instant thought can be "what the hell is a spark plug and why didn't you just go to the dealer" but, you tell him how proud you are of him that he was able to change his spark plugs. I am not saying, let him get away with doing wrong - I am saying find the (right) and you will see how much he wants to be the man you want him to be - that's where partnerships will be made.
Smiles to you - go in love
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
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